finding yourself

The event on campus that I went to had a man named Chris Lowney come speak of his ambitions as a Jesuit and a business man. He talked primarily of what the Jesuit tradition instills and what it really is like to be a leader within the Jesuit community. He spoke of many opportunities the Jesuit religion holds, and also what advantages it entails.
Lowney talked a lot about 4 specific things – self-awareness, self ingenuity, heroism, and love. He described self-awareness as knowing yourself; self ingenuity as one being able to adapt to change; heroism as the ambition or passion to complete one’s goals; and love which he described as expressing dignity. All of these things, from a Jesuit perspective or not, are things that people have to reflect on about themselves.
Self-awareness was one thing that really struck me as something to think about when looking at the city around Loyola. To know yourself, and to trust yourself is a very big deal when you are at college. Being secure is one the biggest hardships for a college student. To come to such a great big city is an immense change for anyone, especially young adults. Moreover, this is where self ingenuity kicks in. Loyola students in particular need to adapt to the city of Baltimore, and ultimately (hopefully) embrace it. Even coming from a big city, Baltimore is a new place to many of the students here at Loyola.
These traits, self-awareness and self-ingenuity, can also be reflected on in a different way. Lowney talked a lot about vocations to God, or maybe even to life. He talked a lot about how especially at a school like Loyola with a Jesuit background, there are many “callings” to go in to the city. Loyola runs a lot of programs the help facilitate the interaction between Loyola students and the city. However, should not one get to really know themselves, to see if this is their calling? Is it that big of a deal to have such a change of environment when going downtown? This moment in the talk revealed that the Loyola students in Baltimore, part of its “inhabitants,” really need to figure out who they are in relationship to everything that is going on around them – murders, drugs, stabbings, gang violence. But also art museums, the Inner Harbor, the Baltimore Symphony. This talk really helped me look through a different lens at the things that I should be weary of, but also the things that I should allow myself to embrace.
The article “The Service of Faith and the Promotion of Justice in American Jesuit
Higher Education” talks a lot about the opportunities students at a Jesuit school have. The Jesuits really believe that one can really find themselves through different experiences, and in this case find one’s self by going into the city of Baltimore. The article refers to the same thing Lowney did – challenge yourself to be self-aware, and discover who you are. The article says, “When the heart is touched by direct experience, the mind may be challenged to change. Personal involvement with innocent sufferings…gives rise to intellectual inquiry and moral reflection”(34). Moreover, this article also infers that one should live like Christ, which will hopefully help you find yourself. The article states, “God invited us to follow Christ in his labors, on his term and in his way”(26). Following in the foot steps of Jesus will in turn (from a Jesuit, religious perspective) help yourself find who you are.
“The Birthmark” also talked a lot about this theme of self-awareness and of love. The man in this story, Aylmer, has a wife who he loves so much except for one thing: her birthmark. This story can be perceived as a person overlooking the real meaning of life, and becoming superficial. Aylmer does not know who he is anymore, and just wants perfection in his life. Life is not perfect, which the speaker even spoke of. Part of accepting who you are is part of reality. Moreover, Aylmer has no respect for his wife, Georgiana. This love is not like the kind of love Jesuits hope for. It is false and unconditional.
“The Yellow Wallpaper” is a very unique story of a very sick woman. The whole story presents this idea of a wallpaper that is almost “alive,” yet this wallpaper helps this woman find who she thinks she really is (temporarily). The character begins to “improve” and she says that is it because of this wallpaper. Despite this situation being skewed, one of the ultimate goals expressed in the lecture of the Jesuits is to find oneself, or be self-aware.
“I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud” by William Wordsworth seems to also behold the themes of self-awareness and love. It seems as though the speaker in the poem is just wandering around the countryside, not really sure of where he/she is going. However, the speaker finds these daffodils and is memorized by them. The speaker talks about “what wealth” the daffodils bring to his life. And how now whenever he is almost depressed, he thinks of these daffodils and it makes him happy again. The speaker seems to almost be self-aware in these daffodils; they are now part of what identifies himself. Moreover, he loves these daffodils. For anything that can just pull someone out of a mood of vacancy surely must be very respected and admired.